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Humor
and other
important things
What's
a Snafu?
The
saying was originated by a couple of Army Signal Men.
It became the enlisted men's recognized state of the military
at the time, "Situation Normal, All Fucked Up!"
Snafu
is now used to indicate any foul up.
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George
Carlin has a great way of looking at life. He also asks some thought provoking
questions. Here are some of them.
GEORGE CARLINISMS
- How come wrong
numbers are never busy?
- Do people in Australia
call the rest of the world "up over"?
- Does that screwdriver
belong to Philip?
- Can a stupid person
be a smart-ass?
- Does killing time
damage eternity?
- Why doesn't Tarzan
have a beard?
- Why is it called
lipstick if you can still move your lips?
- Why is it that
night falls but day breaks?
- Why is the third
hand on the watch called a second hand?
- Why is it that
when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume
on the radio?
- Why is lemon juice
made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
- Are part-time
bandleaders semi-conductors?
- Can you buy an
entire chess set in a pawn shop?
- Daylight savings
time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
- Did Noah keep
his bees in archives?
- Do jellyfish get
gas from eating jellybeans?
- Do pilots take
crash-courses?
- Do stars clean
themselves with meteor showers?
- Do you think that
when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a
quarter?
- Have you ever
imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
- Have you ever
seen a toad on a toadstool?
- How can there
be self-help "groups"?
- How do you get
off a non-stop flight?
- How do you write
zero in Roman numerals?
- How many weeks
are there in a light year?
- If a jogger runs
at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
- If athletes get
athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
- If Barbie's so
popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
- If blind people
wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
- If cats and dogs
didn't have fur would we still pet them?
- If peanut butter
cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies
made out of?
- If space is a
vacuum, who changes the bags?
- If swimming is
good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
- If tin whistles
are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
- If white wine
goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
- If you can't drink
and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
- If you jog backwards,
will you gain weight?
- If you take an
Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
- Why do the signs
that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
- Why do they call
it "chili" if it's hot?
- Why do we sing
"Take me out to the ball game, when we are already there?
- Why is the time
of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
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