IDIOTS
WE ALL KNOW...
IDIOTS AT WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card
purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my
name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could
notcomplete the transaction unless the card was signed. When
I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare
the signature on the credit card with the signature I just
signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front
of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one
I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
My unit clerk on
the medical ward at Darnall Army Hospital was a bit of a ditz from day
one, but managed to confirm my suspicions on at least two occassions.
She was highly entertaining, and I still have fond memories.
#1 She managed to get stuck in the hospital elevator between floors.
She used the phone and constantly got a busy signal. She was dialing
the number on the white phone tag that assigned the number to the phone
instead of the operator or the emergency number.
#2 While on the computor one day, she backed away from the computor
and approached me.. She said we needed to go into the hallway to talk.
She said there was a blinking red light under her computor stand, and
she thought we were being monitored! It was the printer "ready" light
for the printer under the stand.
(Submitted by Michael Lousha)
THIS REALLY HAPPENED
WHERE I WORK
The PC Technician
was sent to the user's site because she said her computer hard drive
was making a strange rumbling noise. "I think it's on its last leg."
she said. The technician listened for a few minutes and, sure enough,
there was a rumbling sound which stopped as quickly as it had started.
He reached across her desk and picked up her pager which had been resting
against the computer's case. Problem solved!
ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental,
Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your
eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
IDIOTS IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had
a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer
wanted them to cross there.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered
a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal
lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTINGS
Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate,
when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything
in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If
it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled
and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is
safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually
challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what
the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind
people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What
on earth are blind people doing driving?"
Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker
who is leaving the company due to "downsizing,"
our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun. We should
have lunch like this more often." Not another word was
spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into
the headlights of an approaching truck.
Sighting #4:
I worked with an Individual who plugged her
power strip back into itself and for the life of her could
not understand why her system would not turn on.
Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys
had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's
side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it
was open. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's
open!" "I know," answered the young man -
"I already got that side."
